1. joyce

   04/24/2009 at 6:53 am

   Thank you for your service. Thanks to you and men like you, I am free to enjoy my husband, my granddaughter, and my three sons. Thanks to you, I live in a safe country.

   Reply
   • Roman General

     04/25/2009 at 11:52 am

     Joyce, I appreciate your appreciation. I was just talking to one of my sons, he is buying a home for his soon to be wife and child. I am going over there today to help him do some painting. The land of opportunity still exists.

     It is a gift to have the freedom we have, many people take it for granted and do not understand the sacrifices that our soldiers and veterans have given to this nation and its people.

     As you know, freedom does not come free.

     Reply
2. Doc Hal

   04/24/2009 at 9:13 pm

   God, how can I put this??? First of all, WELL SAID CJ!!! If you could only know how the Vietnam vets were treated when we got home. When my kids (now in their 30′s and 40′s) ask me “What did you do in the war, Daddy?” I tell’em I was in the Navy which, of course, says I was offshore somewhere…heh, heh. ‘Nuff said…don’t ask a military retiree or former military combat vet “did you earn that!!!” I’ll personaly kick your ass!

   Doc

   Reply
   • Roman General

     04/25/2009 at 10:30 am

     I like your style my brother. I could not imagine how you guys were treated. When I was in the desert my father has someone tell him that the first Gulf War was wrong that we should not be there…My dad punched the guy in the face. Hooah!

     Btw, this is Roman General writing here

     Reply
     • Doc Hal

       04/28/2009 at 5:38 pm

       Sorry, bro, I just assume that CJ posts it all…I’ll be more careful!

       Doc

       Reply
       • Roman General

         04/28/2009 at 6:01 pm

         Hey no problem brother.
3. Russo

   04/24/2009 at 11:33 pm

   I’m generally not a stupid guy, so I’ve never done anything like that kid. I’m not trying to condone it either.

   But I wonder; with military gear/paraphernalia so much in style amongst civilians these days(at least here in NYC), isn’t there a legitimate question whether the wearer earned the badges or not? Keep in mind that civilians can’t tell between a real one and a copy.

   How do you guys feel about the fashion trend in general?

   Reply
   • Roman General

     04/25/2009 at 11:16 am

     Russo, I personally do not have anything against people wearing military style clothing.

     I would say that yes, there is a legitimate question as to whether the wearer earned a badge, ribbon, etc.

     I quote myself;

     “If you see a person in public with military clothes on, a hat or something that signifies that they were in the military. Do yourself a favor and do not ask him or her about medals, badges, or any insignia they may have displayed right away, especially in a negative way. Tell them welcome home, and then gauge their reaction and if they want to talk to you they may open up some. But, do not take this as an invitation to ask personal information. Our military experiences have anextremely sacred and personal compartment in our minds and hearts that we place them in. Many of us do not even tell our wives, family or friends about what we did or saw.”

     Men or women who have been in combat generally do not want to talk about their experiences. To them it is a deeply personal part of their lives that they do not wish to share, especially someone they do not know. Combat and killing another human being is the most intimate act one can have with another human. Probably more so than making love to your significant other. Do you talk openly to someone you do not know if they ask you do you have sex with them? Obviously no, the question is taboo.

     A societal norm is expected behavior when out in public, and talking about your sex life is generally looked down on in polite company, and especially rude to ask when in passing company. The same holds true to asking someone, probably more so, if they earned their decorations or if they killed anyone.

     My message here is that it is rude and insensitive to the soldier or veteran to ask them if they earned their military decorations. Many of us combat veterans have an extremely difficult issue with trusting anyone, even loved ones who we fully felt fidelity before combat.

     The answer to your question is that your question would better be left unsaid. If you truly want to talk to a veteran or soldier about their experiences, broach the subject in an empathetic way. First tell them “welcome home” this will probably bring their guard down somewhat. When we come home many of us feel as though we have returned to a foreign land, as though we do not belong anymore.

     If you come upon someone you fell as though they may not own the right to wear military decorations. Consider this, we have young soldiers and veterans who are 18 and 19 that have been on multiple tours and have seen more combat than most other wars, including WWII.

     Upwards of 90-94% of our troops in Iraq have been shot at, seen someone killed or have been in a combat situation. 68% have actually engaged the enemy where only 40% of the people who actually have the job description of combat arms or killing. In this war we have women fighting and killing the enemy, over 100 women have been killed in combat.

     So, when you doubt if someone is old enough or “looks” as though they did not earn their awards. I would suggest to ask yourself these questions pondered here.

     Reply
     • Doc Hal

       04/28/2009 at 5:49 pm

       Ya know, at the 2007 Rolling Thunder Ride to the Wall, I saw a dude with ribbons on his vest in the wrong order of precedence…made me wonder if he’d ever been there and I almost challenged him…wish I had!

       Doc

       Reply
       • Roman General

         04/28/2009 at 6:10 pm

         Hey man how many guys had a place like US Cavalry put together their ribbons for them?

         All I am saying is that, tis better to err on the side of caution than too challenge a combat veteran about awards they may or may not have been awarded.

         Brother, if you had been in the mix of combat who is to say that you could have restrained yourself from wringing someones neck had they challenged your integrity?
4. Sean Healy

   12/09/2009 at 6:25 am

   I am a proud “DESERT STORM VETERAN” I was 11 Bravo and earned my C.I.B there. But for the life of me, I can not find anywhere cause believe me I looked! Is an emboidered cap with Desert storm on it with a CIB! So, my question is: Don’t these people who design this stuff realize that we earned that badge? It really pisses me off! Don’t we deserve the same level of respect as everyone else? Or are we just second class citizens? Which is the way that I feel most of the time. Has anyone experienced this? or am I alone here?

   Reply
   • Roman General

     12/23/2009 at 1:02 pm

     I have looked everywhere myself to no avail. One day I will have a custom hat made (aobut $50).

     Reply
5. RadioAngel

   02/24/2010 at 11:48 am

   It never ceases to amaze me the stupid crap people say. My dad has told me stories of name calling and spitting when he was coming home as a young man. The man I am dating is a combat vet and currently in a doctorate program and the questions these university students ask him are SO RUDE! They think his experiences are something out of a movie and not real. I can’t imagine the embarrassment of being put on the spot for something so intensely personal. I know better than to ask, and consequently he feels safe enough to open up to me now and then.

   Reply
6. fabulous me

   07/13/2010 at 11:15 pm

   thank you,

   my husband is about to come back and i want to in the easiest way possible prep family, friends, and acquaintances to not say what i call “stupid questions civilians ask soldiers/veterans” and maybe give them a few things that might not upset him. see the thing is, i love him and don’t want him to ring anyone’s neck – because orange is just not his color!

   i have a few things already, but would love suggestions… both questions and statements of “dos and don’ts” i appreciate this post and plan on passing it on to them in hopes that they will come read it themselves.

   thank you again – this means a lot!

   Reply
   • Scott Lee

     07/14/2010 at 9:35 am

     I can give you the ins and outs of coming home from combat; expectations and opportunities of being a modern warrior at home. Check out my website PTSD: A Soldier’s Perspective (PASP) to see our new mission in action. Just as you say you want to know the answers to your questions on families and combat vets.

     At PASP we strive to bring together people who have environmental connections with Combat PTSD; a friend, family member, loved one and our returning soldiers and veterans. Along for the ride are frontline workers in the cutting edge of Combat PTSD talent to help our returning veterans come home.

     Its about wanting to let go of the expectations and give into the possibility of opportunity. Come visit us, we have wives, soldiers, veterans and mothers writing for us to help you through the Combat PTSD moments i your life.

     Reply
7. NY-David

   07/14/2010 at 2:32 pm

   I agree with Russo that there are many some in NYC with military gear. I won’t make a related remark as I had embarassed someone for wearing a Marine hat someone bought them for Christmas. On the otherhand, I met someone in BDU’s on the subway and went all out… thanked him for his service, asked him if he needed directions, etc.
   NY-David

   Reply
8. Shawn

   08/25/2010 at 10:42 am

   To “Fabulous me”. The big one is obvious, but maybe not to civilians. Don’t ask “Did you kill anyone?”. If anyone asks what I did in the Marines, I tell them, I sat behind a desk. Its none of their business!! My son who did 2 tours in Iraq, I was able to talk about somethings, that I haven’t told my wife of over 30 years. I’ll probably be able to talk to my other son, who’s over there now, when he gets back.

   And the last thing, is Don’t Push them to talk!! If they want to talk to you, they will in their own time.

   Sempre Fi!
   Shawn

   Reply
9. scott

   07/23/2011 at 3:41 pm

   Quote: “This young punk was coming in the door and looked at the patch on my jacket and said, “Did you earn that?”

   I wonder what was he thinking? Perhaps he was not a punk, but maybe dress weird? Can be you descriptive of the person.

   Is it possible you pre-judged him? I just want to rule that out.

   He could have been a not-so-bright individual also. Where he doesn’t understand respect. So, in his mind, he did not do anyhing wrong. I think you would have to understand that also. There are a lot of low IQs around. Trust me.

   Reply
   • scott

     07/23/2011 at 3:45 pm

     And if you were gone say, from 18 to 21. That is a big difference. A lot of people I knew when I was 18 have gone separate paths. At least I have. I know what it is like not knowing anyone in a town, and feel foreign. But, I tried anyway.

     Yet, I do agree with you in that, I get asked this all too often. Where are you from? And what do you do?

     I just met you. I am just not used to this kind of conversation. I never started conversations like that. Shows their intelligence level also. Why don’t they chill, talk about something non-personal first.

     Just because you know everyone else sh*t in the city doesn’t mean I am going to tell you mine. And notice how they won’t volunteer any of this info to you. Or give you back half-ass answers.
     I am here now mother*****r. But you must control it, and really say.

     Reply

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