A SOLDIER'S PERSPECTIVE
THE WEB'S LEADING MILITARY BLOG SINCE 2004
Yesterday I was running some errands to get ready to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. After I had picked up a prescription from Wal-Mart I was sitting in my car when a guy walks up to me pointing like he had always done. I looked thinking what and was immediately thinking defensively. When I looked up I saw my old dope dealer and was surprised, so to be polite I got out of the car and talked with him for a minute.
We talked about people we used to hang with and if we had seen any of them, I replied no but had actually had seen some of them. I felt guarded with this guy, not wanting to give him to much information about me. He asked where I lived and responded with a general area. He asked me what I was doing today and I was proud to tell him I am in my senior year of college. He seemed surprised, but changed the subject quickly. He did mention that the college campus would be a great money maker, with all the partying going on. I asked him was he working and his reply was “Oh yeah, 7 days a week.” He asked me if I still was hustling; code for do you want any drugs to sell and/or use. I was also proud to tell him that, no I do not. But, their was conflicting emotions and the lure of getting high again. The wheels where turning in my head, a voice was seductively saying,
You know he has some weed in his car, all you have to do was ask for it.
Another voice was reminding me of how far I had come, to get high was to give up the esteem that I have earned. I was reminded of the cirlce of frineds I have and how they play a part in my descion making skills today. That my friends today lift me up and inspire me to new heights; they encourage and challenge me. The conflicts I have today with my friends comes from love, not petty resentments from unmet needs and expectations. In that moment I realized a deeper appreciation and understanding of what friendship entails and how it impacts my life. The foundation I have built steadied my course and enabled me to tell myself no, to shut off the negative voices and drive away feeling blessed.
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![[UPDATE] The “Face” of Military Dating Scams – The Wall of Shame](http://militarygear.com/asp/wp-content/themes/LondonLive/thumb.php?src=http://militarygear.com/asp/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/2.jpg&w=53&h=41&zc=1&q=100)
Anatomy of a Military Dating Scam
to Anonn, thank you. i thought so. i just want a clear picture of his
Military Dating Scams (More Nigerian Scammers)
New Scam to be aware of……….I am 2LT. Anderson Darrell Clinton , an off
Anatomy of a Military Dating Scam
New Scam to be aware of……….I am 2LT. Anderson Darrell Clinton , an off
[UPDATE] The "Face" of Military Dating Scams - The Wall of Shame
New Scam to be aware of……….I am 2LT. Anderson Darrell Clinton , an off
Melkie
Awesome! That’s what you call being on the other side!
Roman General
Thank you for the support
Donna
RG,
We are so proud of you that you did not fall into the temptation of the old ways! You have alot going for you now and I’m so glad that you realize it! Take care!
Roman General
Thanks Donna, I do have many blessings today. I am thankful that God chose to reveal intimacy on a deeper level of meaning and understanding. By honoring and conveying our intimate attachments throughout our day we strengthen this communion between ourselves, significant others and our spirituality.
Susan
Great story. A memorable milestone in your life. As a mom, I have to ask you how you went from a drug user to a soldier? Was there any defining moment in that change. I ask because I am a mother of a 20 year old young man. A young man I have found to my dismay is using drugs. I am lost as to how to help and live somewhat fearful for him.
Beyond taking a 2×4 across his head I am lost in this struggle. (Please note as a disclaimer that I would use the 2 x 4 with as much unconditional love that I could muster!)
any advice?
Roman General
Susan, I went from a soldier to a drug and alcohol user immediately upon returning home. Although I drank before I deployed, it did not get me into a spectrum of trouble until after combat. It took me 15 years of trouble at home, 2 marriages, alienating my children, problems with the law, violence, anger, 30 jobs, homelessness and landing in a long-term drug and treatment facility before I could come to terms with my addiction and mental illness (PTSD).
Many factors may contribute to your sons using and degree of using. He may be an occasional user, a frequent user or a chronic user. Even if his using is only occasional you could get friends, family and significant others together that love him and tell him of your concerns about his using drugs.
Does he have a mental health diagnosis, or do you suspect he may a mental illness? He could be self medicating, if this is the case then it will probably be harder to get him to quit because he may be seeking and receiving some relief in using.
If his using has caused him legal problems or difficulty holding a job, then he may need further interventions.
Some suggestions,
If He Does Not Want Help:
-If he does not want help then he will need to reach his “bottom” (12-Step talk for abject demoralization), before he will seek help
-Enabling an addict will only increase his use and dependence on you (causing you greater stress and safety issues)
-Do not let an addict borrow money
-Do not trust an addict, they will use it against you
-Call the police if you fear for your safety (you cannot help him if you are injured or dead)
-You may have to kick the addict out of the house, even if that means he will be homeless. (due to stealing, violence, or other situations that jeopardize the safety of the homes occupants)
-Throughout let him know that you are there for him if he wants help and spell that help out for him.
-Before you help him, he will sign himself in a drug treatment program.
-Unconditional love does not mean that you have to give him everything he “wants”, only what he “needs”. What he wants will only become relevant to him or you if he is the one achieving it.
These are the Biggies, if anyone can think of other suggestions for Susan, please do tell.
Read this over at PTSD, A Soldier’s Perspective as I have picked it up and made a post there.