Today we remember those who have given all and we remember their families, who have an empty place at the table and in their hearts.

I’d like to repost something I put up on my blog years ago from Betsy Beard. Her son Brad was killed in 2004. It is a painful read and a reminder of the sacrifices made by our troops and their families.

In the words of Gen Schoomaker when he passed this along: “This says it all.”

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Ft. Bragg Casualty Assistance Center September 17, 2005
Fayetteville, NC

Dear Casualty Notification Officer,

Almost a year ago you came to my door with the devasating news of the death of my son, SPC Bradley S. Beard. You waited at the curb with your fellow officer in the predawn stillness of an October morning until you saw the lights come on in the house. My clock read 6:38 AM when you pressed the doorbell.

I don’t know how you found the courage to walk up our front steps. Maybe that is why the Army assigns two soldiers to the mission: so they can’t back out. I can’t imagine how you were able to steel yourself, and resolve in your mind to say the words that would break my heart and shred my soul. Surely there cannot be a worse mission to give a soldier.

I cannot fathom how a soldier is able to complete even one mission of this type. It isn’t a warrior task for which anyone could truly become trained and proficient…and yet you were given this task and expected to perform the job with diginity and compassion. And you did just that. It must have something to do with the instilling of the Army values of loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage. That is the only explanation I have been able to come up with.

It bothers me all these months later that I was unable to treat you with the respect and honor that you deserved for taking on such a horrible and thankless task: our notification. I remember yelling at my husband not to open the door, and then begging him not to let you inside the house. You were the last person I wanted to see standing on my porch, and I think I conveyed that to you. I would not speak to you or look at you or shake your hand when you offered it. I guess all my goodwill and courtesy somehow just drained away and bled out of my heart in those few moments as I saw you standing in the doorway.

I know that I cannot go back and rewrite the past so as not to be rude to you. God knows I would rewrite history if I could, but my rewrite would include Bradley still living. In my version, you and I would never meet. But we did meet, badly. The only thing I can do is make amends for that, if you are willing to give me the chance. I would be honored if you could visit us again. This time I would open the door. I would invite you in. I would look at you directly. I would speak to you civilly. I would offer you a cup of coffee. And most importantly, I would shake your hand, and thank you for your service to our country.

Sincerely,

[Signature]

Elisabeth A. Beard
Mom of SPC. Bradley S. Beard, redeployed to heaven October 14, 2004.