A SOLDIER'S PERSPECTIVE
THE WEB'S LEADING MILITARY BLOG SINCE 2004
In 2009, 728 troops died on active duty. Of those, 347 troops received condolence letters from the President of the United States. It is customary and right that the President send condolence letters to the families of these Soldiers – and he did. In fact, every President presiding over combat operations since Lincoln has sent condolence letters to families of fallen heroes.
But, what about the other 381 Soldiers that didn’t get condolence letters? Was their death less important than the 347? Well, according to the U.S. Government, yes! Why? Because those 381 Soldiers committed suicide. They weren’t killed by enemy actions. At least, not immediately.
First of all, shame on those troops that took their own lives instead of fighting for it! Shame on them for leaving their families behind to deal with their loss alone. Shame on them for denying the world their talents, their love, and their presence. Shame on them for not giving others a chance to save them. I know these are tough words, especially from a guy that who almost shamed himself and became a statistic, but please keep reading. But, even MORE shame on our government!
While I have a strong personal belief that the suicide solution is no solution at all, I know why it happens and I can’t place all the blame on those troops who saw no viable alternative to taking their own lives. That doesn’t make it right, I’m just saying I’ve been there.
With that said, many of these suicides are a direct result of combat action. When our troops come home in one piece physically, that doesn’t mean that they come home in one piece mentally. Many of us deal with a daily battle of the mind. These wounds are hard to identify and some troops still feel like they are the only ones that are dealing with these issues. They look around them and feel lonely even when surrounded by troops with similar experiences.
Combat is an inhuman event. It’s not normal – regardless of how much training one receives – to kill people. The mere act of firing one’s weapon into another person is a mind-numbing act. No amount of training can prepare a Soldier for the first time he is required to take a life no matter how legitimate the killing was. Seeing a friend that you’ve trained with, suffered with, played with, partied with, and bunked with slump lifeless in your arms as you emphatically attempt to bring him back is not normal. Clearing the crossfire after a battle and finding children the same age as yours is not normal.
Then, to go through all that and come home to country that doesn’t understand you can feel insurmountable. Some may feel that those feelings are so insurmountable that it’s worth taking their lives over. And our government thinks that these losses are a lesser death and not worthy of recognition. Well, some Senators are trying to change that and wrote a letter to the White House to change this policy.
“Perpetuating a policy that denies condolence letters to families of service members who die by suicide … further alienates families who are already struggling to cope with the death of a loved one,” the letter states. “It is simply unacceptable for the United States to be sending the message to these families that somehow their loved ones’ sacrifices are less important.”
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Mary Hacker
I knew you would relate well to this CJ. There are many things shameful about this but the most shameful point is that these families do not receive a condolence letter from the President! They still served their country and many died while on active duty. The military even posts publicly their suicide rates each month and what they are doing to try to prevent it. Obviously they recognize the connection/effects of their service to the suicide rates.
Dale Day, MSG, USA-Ret
Thank you for the heartfelt, honest post bringing up something too often overlooked.
MAJ John Copeland, Student, CGSC, Fort Belvoir, VA
While I absolutely agree a Service Members death should be mourned as a loss regardless of the circumstances, our civilian (President/Congress) and uniformed (CJCS/Service Chiefs) military leadership, are struggling to understand the root causes and reasons for the increase in suicides. If you haven’t already, read the Army’s report on Health Promotion, Risk Reduction, and Suicide Prevention. It was published in July 2010.
There may be something to the idea that condolence letters to families may in some way legitimize or even give tacit approval to those contemplating suicide as a viable alternative.
The struggle seems to be between the perception of legitimizing suicide for the living at the expense of supporting the surviving family.
Given the option of sending or not sending them, the letters should go out. Families are the ones that need the support. The dead are gone and can’t be consoled. Those that carry on after a Service Member’s death need closure and to know their comrade’s service was appreciate.
Renee L
I have to wonder (as someone who has, on occasion, considered taking extreme measures – and I haven’t even been the one to see combat) if all of this is really worth it? Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not anti-soldier or even anti-military necessarily, but is the cost of war worth the alternative? What IS the alternative?
I used to eat, sleep, and breathe the idea of honor and valor in a soldierly (or military spouse) sense, but now that I’ve been out for a couple of years, I can see how much of my community doesn’t understand me or my (former?) perspective, and I wonder if it’s healthy to insist that our military is helping out. If I came home from Iraq or Afghanistan with experiences like our soldier’s, if the ugliness of war out-weighed the valor of “freedom”, I think I would be tempted to take my life, too.
Now, just to be clear, I’m not against the military, I just question it’s effectiveness, that’s all. And of course, I mean no insult to those serving or their families. It was my life for 28 years. I don’t question your loyalty to the cause – never that, you all have it in plenty, as you demonstrate daily – I question the cause itself.
Are we doing the right thing? Is there truly no other alternative? Just thoughts I have swirling around in my mind lately.
God bless.
Renee
Whylee
OMG! My heart breaks for those soldiers and the loved ones they left behind! I had no idea that the suicide rate for service men/women was so high. We shouldn’t add to one’s heartbreak of losing a loved one by not recognizing that loved one’s sacrifice. I think those families should receive letters as well. After all, had they not served this country, and been to battle for this country, they might not have taken their own life.
Jane-marie Wright
I haven’t had the chance to read all your thoughts of late, but I was scanning through and this one stood out and it reminded me of why I first started reading your writings. You have this enormous courage and integrity to push the reader’s senses to the limit. It’s like breathing in time with someone-else, you manage to convey the grit with hope. And somehow you take that desensitized image, very readily, from those of us who haven’t been to war, who usually take in the images while eating our dinner in front of the TV, and you shove it in our face in a realisation that we’ve not always been sold the truth. I have so much respect for your brutal honesty and striking sobering compassion. Don’t ever change CJ.