A recent poster located on the U.S. Navy’s official Facebook page is causing quite a stir. It’s definitely a non-traditional approach to combating sexual assault, but is it making light of the issue?

I don’t think so. And that’s a position that I don’t have a lot of support for. So, I’m doing what I think anyone with a bully pulpit would do in my position. I’m defending my position publicly that has been misunderstood privately. Most of you will probably disagree with me, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t corner the market or hold the patent on being right. Now, you’re going to have to stay with me. I’m going to jump around a bit here and may lose you from time to time, but my position should make sense before it’s all said and done. You may still disagree with me, but you’ll at least see where I’m coming from.

First, a few honest assumption and facts:

- The Navy does not condone sexual assault in any form or fashion (for that matter, no military service does)
- The military, Navy included, has expended a great deal of time, money, energy, and expertise trying to figure out and prevent sexual assaults within the ranks
- Sexual assault is NEVER acceptable
- Perpetrators are sick humans that need more than help
- I don’t condone or support sexual assault by anyone

To me, this poster is quite brilliant in its intent, though perhaps misses the mark on interpretation. Let’s face it, sexual assaulters always have a litany of excuses for why they did what they did: the person didn’t say no; the person’s clothing signaled they were looking for a good time; I was drunk. Whatever. None of them are valid excuses and they’re all dumb. To the average person, it’s pretty obvious when someone doesn’t want to have sex or be felt up. It’s just a “duh” type of thing.

This poster is saying what really shouldn’t have to be said: Look, numbnuts! Keep your hands to yourself! If you still can’t do that because you’re just too stupid to read between the lines, this poster will make it easier for you to understand. There’s no beating around the bush. There’s no innuendo, no talking around the subject, no making excuses. The poster is full of common sense – TO YOU AND ME!! To the brainless thugs walking around looking for their next victim, not so much.

Sexual assault and other personal tragedies leave a lasting impression on the victim. People who have been raped carry that incident and the associated feelings with them everywhere they go. It’s a tragic event in their lives that requires a mixture of therapy, forgiveness, forgetfulness, and perhaps meditation to get over.

Here’s the comment to victims where I will lose some of you, but again I ask you continue reading and I’ll explain: GET OVER IT!

I’ve been asked how I would feel if I was told to just “get over it” with respect to my PTSD. Well, that’s exactly what I’ve had to do. I think that’s what everyone dealing with a traumatic life event has to do. Why? Because, no matter how much training, therapy, group counseling or whatever you get that event will NEVER go away. You will always be the guy that got raped, robbed at knife point, witnessed a horrific traffic accident, survived an explosion, had your buddy die in your arms, lost a family member, etc.

Therapy and counseling are good for teaching us to train our brain how to DEAL with those traumatic events. After two years of therapy and counseling, I’ve learned how to deal with those memories, thoughts, nightmares, and recollections of the things that trigger my depression or PTSD. You learn how to manage survivor’s guilt. It’s still there and will always be there, but I’ve learned to “get over it” and realize that it wasn’t my fault. There wasn’t anything I could have done that I didn’t do to have changed what happened. At that moment, I was the “victim” of circumstance. But, I’ve learned to become victimized by dwelling on those moments.

I know that it sounds crass to tell a rape or sexual assault victim to just “get over it.” But, in a sense, that’s exactly what they have to do. I don’t know of any instances in which someone actually told the perpetrator to rape them. “Please, have your way with me against my will.” It just doesn’t happen. Naturally, many victims of these crimes feel that way – that they did something or said something that brought about the attack. The fact is that that is not true. The person committing the crime did it because they’re a vile, worthless, power hungry, lowlife bent on ruining other peoples’ lives. Fortunately, it’s sometimes possible to identify those people BEFORE they commit their horrendous acts, but unfortunately it takes the crime to have been committed before anyone is aware these dregs of society are identified.

The obvious fix in my mind is torturing these criminals. Slice off the genitals of convicts. Break their arms and legs and let them heal in a manner in which they can no longer be used. Put them under a bridge and force them to beg for their food for the rest of their lives. I’m not interested in the psychological reasons for this behavior or that they were raised in a broken home. Everyone is instilled with the god-given knowledge between good and evil, right and wrong. I have no sympathy for ANYONE that rapes or commits sexual assault.

Many opponents of this poster have made the comment that deviants aren’t going to change their attitude reading this poster. No, they’re not. And they’re not going to change it sitting through hour long briefings on the subject every quarter either. So, by that logic, let’s just all stop wasting our time and money sitting through briefings that most of us will never need or paying for posters and programs to combat it, right?! I mean, is that the logic?

Should these posters all just say the same thing over and over again to the point that no one pays any attention to them, like “don’t drink and drive?” How many times have we heard that and we still deal with the issue? Obviously, no. Those that really care about this issue have to keep coming up with unique ways to get peoples’ attention. That’s exactly what the Navy did. Nearly 300 people have commented on the poster and over 700 have “liked” it. It’s garnered a ton of attention and discussion on the subject, both publicly and privately.

I’ve disagreed with a lot of people about this poster. Those disagreements have gotten heated. People on both sides said things that were hurtful and/or “out of line.” But, let me make something perfectly clear for those that care. When I get involved in a disagreement and get upset about a line of thinking, it’s not because I have PTSD and can’t deal with stuff. I don’t say the things I say because I’m deploying or dealing with mental issues. I say them because they are my opinion. Yes, I have some very strong and pointed opinions.

See, I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances. I choose to overcome them and move on. I’m not going to spend my entire life wondering what I did wrong. Naturally, I’ve learned how to stay out of circumstances that would make it easier to be a victim. But, that isn’t what this is about. Victims wouldn’t be victims if someone didn’t abuse their position, strength, friendship, or status to commit horrible crimes. It’s NEVER the victim’s fault. NEVER! So, I don’t want to hear from all you victims that I’m saying it’s your fault because they means you simply still don’t understand where I’m coming from.

What I’m saying is twofold and here’s how I can summarize this entire post:
1. The perpetrators are fully responsible for [insert tragic event] their victim and no one else’s.
2. The victims choose to CONTINUE to be victimized. The event happened and nothing can change that. What happens from that point is up to us!

I think this poster could be boiled down to a simple concept: respect other people. That is what the Navy is trying to say. It’s not trying to say, in my opinion, that it’s the fault of the victims.

I apologize in advance to those not accustomed to my blunt way of putting things.